All About Bryan and Dylan

Baby Dylan and I was discharged from the hospital 2 days later. When we reached home, Bryan was having his afternoon nap.

As soon as he wakes up, I greeted him with Dylan in my arms. Bryan was very excited to see Dylan, and kept saying, “Di di, chu lai liao” (Di di come out already).

I gave him a present from Dylan and he was very excited about the toy. But not long after that, the nightmare starts. He started saying that I cannot hold Dylan. I told him that Dylan needs to be fed and he is hungry.

He refused to listen and I had to lock myself in a room to bf Dylan with Bryan wailing outside. So after feeding, I have to pass Dylan to someone else. Bryan is OK with everyone else holding Dylan except me.

Feeding is just nightmare #1.

Nightmare #2: We had not opened up the play pen for Dylan to sleep in. So I let him sleep on the bed downstairs. Bryan kept wanting to sleep next to Dylan. He’ll say, “Ken didi ee chi suei chiau.” But when he lies next to Dylan, he would touch his hair, eyes, pull out his hand from the swaddling blanket, commenting how small his hands are..bla bla bla. He would talk loudly next to Dylan and startle him from his sleep.

Nightmare #3: When we tell him he cannot do that, he started tumbling on the bed next to Dylan. My mom was so scared that he would tumble right on top of Dylan, so she quickly rescued Dylan and held him in her arms.

There was once he actually hit Dylan in his tumble. Luckily it was a minor hit and Dylan does not seem to be hurt, though he did curl up his lips in protest.

Nightmare #4: Another time, he started tumbling, and I picked Dylan up quickly. Bryan got mad, and reached for the remote control and threw it at Dylan. Luckily it hit my hand instead. I told him that he cannot throw things at Dylan and he started reaching for everything to throw at Dylan - the blanket, diapers etc. He just did not want me to hold Dylan.

People have been telling me that it takes time for Bryan to accept Dylan. Bryan is excited about Dylan but yet he is very worried that I will love him less. He tells my mom that I cannot hold Dylan and cannot “sayang” Dylan.

So my whole family have been trying to brainwash him every day and night to get him to accept Dylan as part of the family. Sometimes he really test our patience, my patience and I feel like giving him a big whack on the butt. But I know this will only makes things worse. So we held our patience when Bryan misbehaves and just remove Dylan until Bryan calms down.

I know Bryan does love Dylan. He is very excited to see Dylan all the time but he gets mad whenever I hold Dylan. So it is a confusing stage for him as Mommy has always been his, and was not meant to be shared.

I really hope things get better soon…..